I like to daydream. You already know the one about getting my novel published. Another dream of mine is to have a hobby farm where I’d raise llamas, alpacas and goats (oh my!). While it sounds a bit whack-a-doo, I’m totally serious. I come from a long line of cattle ranchers, and while I have no desire to become a bovine baroness, the urge to raise livestock runs deep in my DNA. I’m too tender hearted to slaughter my lovies though, so it couldn’t be cattle. Or pigs or chickens because of the stench.
Much to my wild children’s chagrin, every year I drag them to the llama barn at the 4-H fair so I can feast my eyes on those creatures that look like they’ve walked straight out of a Dr. Suess book. They hum to communicate to each other, and spit or neck wrestle when they’re mad. They’re curious and quirky. Seriously, how can you not love a face like this?
Llamas are known for their wool, but did you know that there are also guard llamas? Llamas can kick a coyote’s keister, and a couple of llama’s together can even put a whooping on a mountain lion. I’d like to raise a few ninja llamas, whose offspring could be sold to protect sheep, or for that matter, anyone who needed a little extra security. Think about it… would you attack someone with a 400 lb llama, who depending on her anger level, could hawk a loogey from all three of her stomachs?
My hobby farm would also have goats. Not only would we never have to mow the lawn again, we’d never have a weed problem because goats are cool like that. Our cloven-footed friends are the best weed whackers to come down the pike since Roundup, and they don’t cause cancer or birth defects. Several counties around here use goats for weed mitigation. Goats prefer weeds over grass. Sic a goat herd on a patch of noxious weeds and they’ll stop that weed from growing again, since their stomach acid destroys the seeds. They’re relentless, and will even climb a cottonwood to get to a patch of leafy spurge. Not only do they eradicate weeds, their hooves aerate the land, and their poop fertilizes. A trifecta of goat goodness!
With my penchant for career choices involving llamas, goats, and writing, it’s probably a good thing I married a dude with an MBA. But a little daydreaming never hurt, right?
What are your pipe dreams?